


4/7/05

by Fieroonfire



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2019-10-07 18:16:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17370905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fieroonfire/pseuds/Fieroonfire
Summary: Light flickered over the mousy blonde ends that peeked under his beanie. His mouth was small and perfectly shaped. I pervertedly questioned  for a moment the way those lips would feel on my own. I had a hankering for guys in black, unafraid of eyeliner.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N heyyy, so I have really been relating to PW lately- his 'thing' with Mikey Way really makes me reminisce on a 'thing' I had with a girl, unrequited love all that stuff. So basically this is kinda my story told through Petekey fluff.. Anyway thanks for listening to my ted talk;

Light flickered over the mousy blonde ends that peeked under his beanie. His mouth was small and perfectly shaped. I pervertedly questioned for a moment the way those lips would feel on my own. I had a hankering for guys in black, unafraid of eyeliner.

“Here you go” Patrick passed a can into my hand, making me jump.  
“Shit!” I exclaimed, the camp chair slipping from underneath me  
Mikey looked up at me, breaking from his conversation with Frank  
Patrick laughed “wow, sorry I didn’t think I’d scare you getting that drink you asked me for?”  
Mikey and Frank joined in laughing at me, thank god it was fucking dark because my cheeks were burning.

“ I just got caught up looking at the fire..” I lied

“Hmm, looked to me like you were staring at someone but whatever” Patrick shrugged and sat down smugly

The silence was deafening. 

“Don’t worry Pete, I get that a lot” Frank winked, managing to conjure a smile out of me. I was glad that his cheeky fuckery was put to a stop when Gerard hovered above him, Frank instantly leaping out of his chair so that he could give Gerard his seat and sit in his lap.

Frank was sexy but he wasn’t the one I had thought of a hundred ways to touch whilst looking into the darkness in my bunk. It was also pretty obvious that something more than just friendship was going on between him and Gerard.

Mikey kind of reminded me of Patrick. I just wanted to bring what was on their insides out, so the rest of the world could revel in their greatness. I find the quiet ones the most interesting.

“Are you gonna talk to him?” Patrick muttered, leaning into my shoulder

I nodded and took a deep breath as I peeled my eyes away from the fire  
“I like your shirt!” I let out a little too eagerly

Mikey had been looking at his phone when he looked up, surprised to see that I was talking to him

“Thanks, it was Gee’s but it shrunk so I claimed it as my own” he said, his smile catching me off guard

I laughed way too much before I chugged down more than half of my drink 

“I like your shirt too, where’s it from?” He asked making me look down to remember what shirt I had put on that day

“That’s one of Pete’s from his clothing brand Clandestine” Patrick smiled, nodding in my direction

“Oh that’s sick dude!” Mikey gleamed, he was so much more than the quiet kid everyone always initially thought.

*  
Time had passed and one too many drinks and cigarettes had been consumed by both bands. Andy had gone to bed early, Patrick was sharing an earphone with Bob and Gerard and Frank had gone missing. The rest laughed and talked around the fire, way too comfortably as bodies slumped half out of chairs whilst some sat on the dirty ground.

Mikey and I had somehow ended up lying on our stomaches side by side, propping our heads up with a bent arm.

I watched as he brought cigarette after cigarette to those lips. How I envied those butts sitting in his warm breath.

“What’s the weirdest food you’ve tried but secretly enjoyed?” I asked, I loved questions that weren’t mundane

“Definitely Green Tea Kit Kats, they’re frickin green! It’s sick! You have to try ‘em” Mikey squealed

“Damn that is weird..but I fuckin’ love weird” I laughed, covering up what I really wanted to say I loved.

I don’t know what possessed me, maybe it was that last sip of alcohol that mustered up the courage from deep within the recesses of my subconscious, maybe it wasn’t that at all, maybe it was my conscious only playing out what my fingers ached to do.

My fingers found their way to the loose strands of hair that covered one of Mikey’s eyes and tucked them carefully behind his ear, brushing my knuckles slowly along his jawline

I don’t know what the fuck I was doing but I was in too deep to pretend it didn’t happen

Mikey smiled, unsure of what to say

“It was bugging me..only seeing one of your pretty eyes, the other eye was getting jealous” I smirked,  
Mikey giggled and it was like a thousand baby cherubs playing the harp simultaneously on a fluff of white heavenly cloud.

Mikey looked at the dirt below then opened his mouth “My arm kills, wanna come chill with me on the bus?”  
I thought he’d never ask.

“Of course!” I almost yelled way too enthusiasticly 

As he placed his first foot on the stairs of the bus he reached his hand backwards in search of mine.

I laced my fingers tightly between his hoping that he could feel the built up energy soar through his pulse as it spilled out of my finger tips.

Loud rustles and breaths came from within the bus before coming to an immediate halt.

I could almost hear Mikey’s eyes roll as he whispered to me “Frank and Gee” 

I squeezed his hand and lead him back down the stairs, making a b line to my bus

Andy should be well and truly asleep by now so we wouldn’t have to worry about talking too loud..and stuff..

As we came to my bunk I patted the bed before helping Mikey up the small ladder.

I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, then tried to casually undo my belt and slide off my jeans, but I think my plan back fired as my foot got caught up in the rough denim, making me fall ass first on the bus floor.

Mikey let out a muffled laugh

“Hey, I’m only a little guy its not my fault I don’t have long chopstick legs to breeze my way out of pants” That made Mikey laugh even more

“Aren’t you hot? I don’t care if you take off your shirt..or jeans..nothing gay though it’s just fuckin’ hot”

Mikey didn’t speak, I was glad to see him slowly take his shirt off as the moon cast a beam perfectly over my bunk, exposing his milky white chest.

I stood there watching in awe before catching myself and closing my lower jaw one handed.

I pulled myself up the ladder and plunged down next to him, my arm not so casually, casually resting against the side of his warm torso.

“What’s your favourite animal?” He asked me, turning his head to look at me, our faced were the closest they had ever been

“Dogs.” I answered without hesitation “Hemingways’ always up for a cuddle, how bout you?”

“Unicorns.” Mikey said without explanation making me laugh

“Fuck you’re tapped Mikeyway, I love it” childishly I pulled my sheet over my head in a playful attempt to hide from him

“Hey! You can’t just hide from me Petey!” Mikey giggled as he tickled my sides, lifting up little corners of the sheets

I let him pull up the bit of sheet over my face and kissed him hard but fast. I pulled the sheet back over my face feeling the heat radiate off my cheeks like a lit match. I worried for a minute in silence that this wasn’t what he had wanted, but he saved me from this feeling by slipping his own head under the sheet as I loosened my grip and searched for him.

We were face to face now, our warm breath mixing between us and draping over each others features.

Mikey’s breath smelt unexpectedly sweet. He was one of those guys whose breath always smelt nice, even when it smelt bad, I dunno pharamones or some shit.

He snuggled his face into my neck and I slid my hand slowly down his side, stopping just above his waist line

I dunno how we got here, I had experimented with other guys before, but it was never as romantic or slow as this. I wanted to take this slow, the others had been messy casual interactions fuelled by short bursts of curiosity.

I’d never gone beyond touching, dicks weirded me out but for a moment I had considered palming Mikey’s and even mayyyybe having it inside me.Maybe.

I had also almost always been the receiver because of my dick phobia. Having my dick sucked by a guy or a girl was the same to me anyway.

I placed a soft kiss on Mikey’s sweaty forehead and he promptly returned the action by placing a kiss on my cheek, we went back and fourth until our mouths were inches apart.

Between deep breaths and bitten lips we lay there in front of each other and things were right. But things were also so wrong for me, in my head at the same time. I brushed these feelings away as much as I could in that moment as I really wanted this, I really wanted Mikey.

No one had come close to making me feel this way about them like he did.

Mikey finally broke me out of my thoughts by pecking me square on the lips, but I didn’t let him get away that easily. 

Our mouths quickly parted and my tongue darted until it found his hot and wet, I rolled on top of him and broke away from his mouth to kiss his sweaty neck.

I sucked just hard enough at the skin to form little dark bruises. He moaned softly under my touch and had moved his hands to my ass, lightly circling my cheeks. I pressed my hard length against his upper thigh as he pushed me slowly back and forth.

“You’re so hot Petey” He let out between small gasps

I smiled, feeling droplets of sweat fall from my forehead to his.

“So are you, Mikeyway” I kissed his soft lips, completely drowning in this feeling, not wanting to come up for air.

We made out for what seemed like ages, I even got as far as nipping at his nipples whist he brushed my dick with his hand way too many times to be on accident.

Finally I collapsed on top of him, melting into his warm chest, panting.

Neither of us came, but we weren’t bothered, this was the right pace we needed. I needed him to know that he wasn’t like the quick flings I’d had before and I needed to feel the same from him. We fell asleep hugging, only moving to spoon each other unconsciously through the night..


	2. you make me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a quick one x

“You promise?” Mikey asked, the seriousness in his voice stiniging like the most poisonous venom

“I promise, sweet little dude” my soft smile was met with his trademarked stone cold look

“I..I mean it..” I lied. 

“Good, cos loose lips sink ships” Mikey spoke as he kissed my forehead

We had the back of the MCR van to ourselves and it was obvious that he and I needed this talk, the past couple of days we had been to touchy feely in public, Mikey swore saw a girl with a flip phone take a photo when we were holding hands.

My head was a fucking tornado of thoughts and emotion. I wanted every single motherfucker to know that Mikey and I were together and that I would make him Mikey Wentz one day.

But then my all too familiar friend, shame comes back into the picture uninvited, that slut.

I could never be openly gay. The bi thing I could only just live with after drunkenly telling my mom that I really liked guys and girls.; even then my coming out was only met with “That’s nice Pete, everyone experiments”, except that was definitely not what I meant.

I could never tell my father. Not that I think he would be against that sort of stuff but I don’t know how he would take it from me, his son.

Whilst I was very much in like with Mikey a part of me was angry. Angry that he had made me feel all these ways about him. Loving him was so easy and not like any I had ever had before. But at the same time a small part of it felt wrong and it crushed me.

All this confusion was the fuel in my train to mania. I am unstoppable when I get like this and I can already feel the dread of doing something I will regret.

“It fuckin’ sucks” I let out in an exacerbated sigh

“I know Petey.. but we have our reputations and our bands reputations to think about. I wish we were nobodies. Then we could…y’know” Mikey shrugged

“Why can’t you say it?” I asked him through squinted eyes

He paused for a moment, that felt like an eternity

“Pete. You know that’s not fair. I’ve never been with another guy. I’ve never had the chance to figure out my sexuality.”

All the things I wanted to say were boiling up inside me. Even I was impressed by my composure.

I smiled and exhaled. “Well I guess I’ll have to help you with that” I said before grabbing his little face and forcing my tongue inside him.

Mikey laid backwards, our breaths were rapid making us red hot and ready. Only grinding on him was torturous. I found my opportunity with an empty bus and didn’t give sucking him off a second thought.

We were on fire from the inside out. He was already moaning under my touch before I could undo his button and unzip his fly.

My dickphobia was non existent at this point and I was now the dirtiest dick wielder on this fucking earth.

He was already hard as his jeans rest around his ankles, I made quick work of pulling down his boxers, being instantly met with his spring-like cock.

This was it, this was really happening, I, Pete Wentz was sucking Mikey Way’s cock

“Uhhh Pete.. I thought you didn’t-“ Mikey began

“Shut up” I snapped as I wrapped my lips around him, my hands following

“Fuck!! Mmmm” Mikey moaned, making me even harder

“You taste so good” I managed between breaths

I read something once on the internet about how to pleasure a guy..you know for..research purposes..

I began twisting my hands in opposite directions whilst sucking my cheeks in firmly and letting my tongue go hard against his underside

“HOLY SHIT PETE I’M CLO-UHHHHHHHH” Mikey tensed up beneath me almost pushing me away with his hips  
The last few pumps spilled into mouth whilst I wished he would never be drained of his hot mess.

“Far out P…you sucked the life outta me..I thought you said you had never done this before?” To which I could only smile and wink

Mikey sat up and somewhat forcefully pushed me onto my back and started kissing me from my collar bone down to my navel

“I won’t last long” I breathed nervously, afraid I’d put him off

Mikey ignored me and started to do the most insane thing to me. He pulled my boxers down and then faced his bare ass towards me. He had better hurry the fuck up up because I was fuckin ready.

He pushed himself backward onto me so that my dick was caught between his cheeks before he started grinding up and down from my base to the tip

Who knew Mikeyway was a freak.

“Fuck, you better st-stop that- or I’m gonna”  
“Yeah? Your gonna what?” The fucker answered back in this weirdly sexy high pitched voice  
I fucking came like a tonne of falling bricks between his ass cheeks, some of my come launching to the nape of his neck. I fucking warned him

“Shit, I didn’t think you actually would” Mikey laughed as he sat up slowly

My cheeks burnt, I was embarrassed 

“Sorry” I let out looking down at myself

“You should be. I’m the one who tells Pete Wentz when he can come” Mikey smiled, a part of me wishing he hadn’t because I was into this dominant shit.


	3. Out of my mind

Mikey had left after we spent half an hour just absorbing each other on the bus. Frank had lead a tipsy Gerard through by his hand and sat him next to us whilst we were in the middle of making out.

“Frank!” Gerard called  
“You stay there! I’m just getting you some water” Frank called back  
“Quick Frankie, they’re making me feel violated!” I laughed as he broke away from Mikey’s lips momentarily before making things even more awkward for Gerard by placing my open hand on his chest and pushing him down.  
I climbed on top of him and made a point of making porn groans between sucking at his neck. 

“Oh my god” Frank stood before us, quickly passing a glass of water to Gerard and blocking his eyes with one of his hands

“Get a fucking room!” He exclaimed

“Frank,I, I need to pee..” Gerard whined

“Well I’m fucking coming with you, there’s no way you’re leaving me with these two” Frank said ironically as he lead Gerard down the bus towards the tiny bathroom.

“You’re so naughty” Mikey smiled at me as I bit my lip

We heard the muffled sound of the toilet flush and then a thud against the bathroom wall

“Are they okay? Do you think Gerard fell? He was pretty wasted..” I asked

Mikey held my finger up to my lips so we could listen 

Gerard laughed before a high moan was let out. Great, they were actually doing it. I didn’t want to think about Frank or Gerard moaning, not together. 

Mikey sat up from underneath me and grabbed my hand.

“Let’s go!” He said as he whisked me off the bus.

I had sound check with the guys in five minutes so Mikey walked me to the Bishop’s stage.

Mikey had kissed me on the cheek and we hugged before I picked up my bass and made my way to my spot on the stage. Luckily my hands could play quite automatically because my brain was definitely on auto pilot- bewildered by the ufo that was Mikey standing just off the side of the stage. Every now and the I would break from my gaze, doing my usually sprint and jumps from the amp.

Finally rehearsal had finished and Patrick and I began talking about our show in a couple of hours.

“I’m gonna have Mikey come on and play for me whilst I go into the crowd” I told

“Cool, I’m happy you guys are getting along so well cos we’re having a barbecue with them on the fourth” Patrick smiled back. I was so excited.

I walked over to Mikey and jumped on him, wrapping my little legs around his slender body. He caught me only just and fell back into a pile of stacked amps.

“We’re having a barbecue with you guys on the fourth! “ I let out excitedly

“Yay, I fuckin’ love fireworks!” Mikey smiled sweetly

**

We played our set and Mikey made good on his promise to fill in for me whilst I went into the crowd. I had never seen him smile so much as he did playing that set.

Summer had also kept it’s yearly promise of being totally hot and miserable. What a bastard. Mikey and I had decided to walk around the park and enjoy some of the stalls. I won him a stupid fluffy little unicorn and he looked at me like I was Santa Claus in the flesh.

I wish I was, strangely, then I could give him everything he ever wanted. I could make my Mikey happy for eternity. We made sure to keep touching to a minimal as we were in plain sight of fans and media. 

A few kids had asked for our autographs and pictures and we made sure to stand on either side and pose inconspicuously. It felt robotic and cold, it was unfair.

We had swapped clothes a few times and I had even ended up with one of Frank’s shirts which I thought was cool. Mikey had made an effort to wear his collar up on his button down trench coat as to hide any love bites. This made me sad but a small part of me was glad he did.

Tomorrow we would have the whole day off. I wanted to take him to a water park near by so we could be alone and we could study each other scantily dressed.

Night had fallen and everyone was out of their buses drinking and talking amongst music playing from a set of speakers.

Mikey and I had made an effort to talk to other people, promising to re connect later in the night. 

“Pete! Sign my tits!” I heard a female voice call from one of the barriers in the distance

I ran over to the barrier quickly and grabbed the pen she held out. She was a bigger girl and had a small entourage of friends

“What’s your name?” I asked, uncapping the lid

“Dannielle!” She yelled excitedly 

“Ok Danielle, well your way to pretty to be asking assholes to sign your tits, so I’ll sign up here ok?” She beamed back at me, barely able to keep still as I hastily signed between her collar bone and neck

“She wants you to take your shirt off!” One girl yelled. Why was I like this? I had just gone on a rant about assholes yet I couldn’t refuse lifting up my shirt and letting them take a photo as I cocked an eyebrow

A pair of arms grabbed me through the small wire holes and embraced me tightly

“Pete! Pete!” Cried another “I’m recording! Can you tell us if you and Mikey Way have a thing going on?” I gulped before answering- shit rumours flew fast these days, I guess the internet was to blame.

“Um..Is it goin’?” I asked wobbling anxiously on my feet

“Yeah” She replied

“Is it goin’? Ok..” I asked again playfully

“More topics about the new Harry Potter books, less topics about whether I’m gay or not, cause it’s pretty obvious I’m gay” She laughed, clearly not expecting my response

With that I smiled and retreated back to the rest of the bands.

I had learnt from quite young how to make the hard truth seem questionable. I was a pro at expressing my true feelings and hiding them behind jokes, incase anyone found me out and decided to use my own words as ammunition. 

I needed a drink, and preferably some coke.

I remembered that I had packed a bit in my bag on the bus from the last state were in. I couldn’t remember how I ended up with it but it was bound to be from Travie.

As I made my way on the bus a rush of adrenaline surged through me. first I went to our fridge and pulled out one of Joe’s disgusting cans of beer. It would do.

I felt the overwhelming need to strangle the conflicting thoughts in my head. I would do what I did best, get wasteland say and do things I’ll regret in the future. I wanted to be alone, punish myself a little with guilt and confusion.

I placed the can beside me and unzipped the side pocket of my bag, exposing the small sack filled of white powder.

I took the half piece of straw and inhaled deeply, sectioning a bit of the bag off with me fingers. I loved the almost instantaneous rush. I could feel like someone else for a while. I could feel normal.

The deep bass from outside my bus loured me out, dancing with the can in one hand and practically fist pumping with the other.

“Wow Pete, you look happy” Joe remarked as he waited at the bottom of steps

“Joe, I fucking love you dude, I love our band and I love Mikey. I just love Mikey so much!” I yelled unnecessarily 

Joe laughed

“Yeah everyone loves you too Pete and hey, who doesn’t love Mikey!?” He playfully punched my arm as I passed him

“No man, like I really love him- he’s the only guy I want to be inside you know?” I knew I shouldn’t have exposed such graphic detail to him but it was like I had lost the small filter I usually possessed. 

“Oh..um..gross? But like ok if that’s what you wanna do man..” Joe shook his head as he swatted his hand in front of him

I was off into the wild tundra- ok maybe more the achingly short mowed grass that was common place at the warped tour venues.

My heart was racing, I just wanted to fucking dance, and NOW!

I walked towards the tents centred in the middle of all the buses, acting like I wasn’t Pete Wentz from that Fall Down Boy band who all the girls (and maybe some guys) wanted to fuck, no I don’t know that dude. Not right now anyway.

I danced with anything that moved- hell I danced with a fucking tent pole and for those few fleeting moments it felt nice to let go. Who was I kidding, even when I was letting go, the one thing I wanted deep down in my heart was him.

My search was on.


	4. Bridges and stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday this little lad played chicken in the middle of the road whilst I was driving and it’s messed me up hey.

“Frank! Frank!” I yelled after him out stretching my arm and catching him by the collar of his shirt

“What the, oh Pete what’s up?” Frank spoke with a cigarette balanced in the side of his mouth. 

“Have you seen Mikey !?” I asked hastily   
“You’re pupils are fuckin ha-uuge!!” Frank laughed, a waft of alcohol mixed with sweat and deodorant lingering around us  
“Mikey’s over there” Frank gestured with his head to a flood light in the corner of a tent   
“Thanks” I said snatching his drink from his hands and power walking away  
“Aye!” He called back, meanwhile I ignored him, he could fight me for the drink if he really wanted

My fringe was sticking to my forehead from drops of sweat as I walked up behind Mikey and tapped him on the shoulder 

He turned around smiling, then frowned as he studied me. My lips were so dry and I could not stand still so I rocked back and forward to my own beat. I flattened my fringe nervously with my hand and smiled up at him 

He grabbed me by my shoulders and looked into my eyes. It was scary but beautiful at the same time.

“You’re fucked up aren’t you?” He asked   
“Um which answer won’t get me in trouble?” I smiled like the smart ass I was  
Mikey rolled his eyes   
“No more ok?” He asked looking concerned  
“Yeah, It’s ok though! I do it all the time, dance with me?” I didn’t let him respond as I took his hand 

I grabbed Mikey by the hips and writhed on him disjointedly before reaching up to grab his face  
“I wanna kiss you” I said, hungry for his affection 

Mikey smiled and shook his head “you know we can’t “ 

I gave him my best pout and puppy dog eyes, my whole body coming to a stop as baselines and sub par pop lyrics swirled around me

“Aww.. stop making this hard Peter Pan.. you look so cute”  
Mikey smiled as he snaked his arms around my neck 

“What am I making hard?” I asked raising an eyebrow   
Mikey smiled and bent his head down so that our foreheads were touching.   
“Come with me? I mean like go with me, not the other way, but like I’m down if you want “ I winked, lacing my finger with his before leading him away

As we snuck away from the lights of the party I found a sharpie lying in the grass and placed it in my back pocket. I jumped between the bases of street lamps, throwing rocks into the silence ahead as Mikey followed me to a bridge. 

“You’re so special to m-“ I started before my foot gave way underneath me to some loose gravel

Mikey reached out to catch me, cradling me in his lanky arm as I fell forward into him. He smiled as I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly 

“So cute, you’re like a little koala”   
“You’d be the only tree I’d ever want to climb baby” I laughed pressing my face into his chest  
“Aww little dude” he said pulling me tight.  
I looked up at him and attacked his lips hungrily sucking at them before our tongues danced together to their own melody 

Without a second thought I fumbled for his button on his jeans and pulled the zip down in one motion, making Mikey let out a small whimper

I weaved my fingers into his waistband and took hold of his whole length as I kept kissing him as he moaned into my mouth. I wanted this for the rest of my life. I wanted to be the one to turn Mikey on, In love with our tabooed relationship, the fear of being caught was exhilarating to me.

Mikey lowered a hand between us and undid my jeans as I begged for his touch

“Come up here” he said gesturing towards his mouth  
“Oh fuck yeah” I moaned as I hovered above him whilst his hands grabbed my ass  
His mouth was warm around me, my tip deeply satisfied by the ripples at the back of his throat.   
Mikey’s hands moved from my ass to my dick and swirled in perfect synch as my mouth hung open and my eyes shut completely invested. I always seemed to last longer on coke which would have been impressive if I was inside him but since this was a blow job I looked into his eyes and all around to be fully present in the moment, hoping to etch every second of this memory into my mind.

I tensed up for the last minute, hitching my breath as I drew closer and closer. I tapped him on his chest indicating I was close before letting out a guttural moan

“FUCK! I-I’m-“ before I could let out any more words I came deep in the back of his throat, only giving him one option; to swallow.

I reached down to Mikey’s crotch noticing how hard he was from sucking me off a decided to tease him as I stroked and licked his underside

“Please, put it.. in your mouth.. I’m gonna-“  
He let out as I dug my tongue into his slit, massaging his balls as they tightened in my palm  
“Make me!” I yelled as his hand reached the back of my head and pushed me down onto him, making him come instantaneously. I watched as he screwed up his face, completely letting go. 

We puffed beside each other, quickly scrambling to get dressed as we remembered we were in public, it was too hot for me to put my shirt back on though.

“Smoke?” Mikey offered if I wasn’t off my head I would have said no 

I nodded as he impressively lit two at the same time

“My little dragon” I sighed “that was awesome”   
Mikey smiled and I swear he was blushing, it was just hard to tell in the dark 

“I wanna go to prom with you and take you home and make love to you and then introduce you to my mom and then fly you to Paris then get down on one-“ I stopped myself, realising that I was rambling and getting way too emotional for this ‘fling’

“That’s so sweet, too bad you’re about 20 years too late for prom, but it’s still sweet” Mikey smiled   
“Hey I may be old but I can still fuck like you teenagers” I laughed kicking some pebbles over a mound, watching as they rolled under the bridge

“Mm, I bet you can..” I began to laugh at first, then noticed Mikey’s tone was sarcastic and he was looking at his knees in front of him


	5. Hot dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this took so long to write and its not even long or well written!? haha Im in such an impulse mood today I really want to get another tattoo of fob lyrics or top lyrics or of just random shit y'know? I think thats why I don't have more tattoos because i'm an indecisive problematic. anyway hope u guys are well thank you for reading it really warms my little black soul <3

“Wow. Are you judging my past?” I asked after a moment of silence between us

“No.. don’t worry about it.. I shouldn’t have said-“Mikey let out in a quiet huff

“It shouldn’t matter to you anyway seeing as you’re too embarrassed to be seen with me” I snarled

“That’s not true and you know it” Mikey mumbled sadly 

“Then what is the truth!? What are we doing? You know what? I’m done, I’m fucking done Mikeyway”

“Pete”

“And don’t think I can’t just go back to living like this never happened,”

“Pete”

“Cos I can. This whole thing is stupid, how could you lead me on when you didn’t even like me?”

“PETER LEWIS KINGSTON WENTZ, come here right now you shit!” Mikey yelled for the first time since I knew him and it scared me but also really turned me on at the same time.  
He outstretched his arms and I walked towards him, crouching as his arms looped around my neck 

“I could stop sleeping with people if I had a good reason to, y’know..” my mouth barely keeping up with the words I was speaking

“I know..I’m really sorry” he had so much more to say, we both did but I ignored every other thought by grabbing his face and pressing our lips together fiercely 

“Mikey?” I broke away momentarily 

“Yeah?” 

“I think.. I think I have a reason” I stopped looking deep into his eyes as I reached for his hands and held them in mine  
Mikey smiled and looked up at me through his glasses, slightly intensifying the size of his beautiful hazel eyes

***

We walked back to his bus hand in each other’s back pockets, cute as fuck.

“It was in junior school, right towards the end. He was a year older than me and we had become close through playing soccer” I recalled, sitting beside him on the couch

“Sometimes at lunch we would find each other and lock ourselves in a bathroom stall, we’d make out n stuff”

“Oh, cute” Mikey smiled, taking my hand

“What was his name?” 

“Mark” I smiled “Other kids use to give us shit for it but we just pretended we were trading super rare baseball cards” 

“Aww” Mikey laughed 

“Then y’know just making out with random guys and Gabe as I got older at parties , sucking some of them off ...What about your first time?” A weird, small tinge of jealously struck me as I realised that I would be hearing about other people touching my Mikey 

“Uhh I dunno, probably a couple years ago when we had a house party, Frank actually dared me and one of his friends to kiss.. then I met one of Gerard’s friends and use to meet up sometimes but that’s really it”

I was shocked, I wondered if Mikey had even liked guys from a young age like I did. I hated hearing that he had had other encounters of the guy kind. 

“Pete, that’s enough” he said grabbing my wrist as I downed a beer ifound in the fridge 

“I’m a big boy!” I spat, eyes superficial in anger

“Slow down at least?” He pleaded, I of course ignored him.

“Ahh that’s why my ass hurt so much, there’s a sharpie in here!” I exclaimed as if I had just opened a new PlayStation for Christmas at age 8, pulling the pen from my back pocket

I yanked Mikey’s arm and began writing;

E A S Y

Mikey studied the letters, furrowing his brow in confusion.

We stayed silent for a moment before I decided I needed to go anywhere, away from him. I kissed his lips and stood up, making my way to the door of his tour bus, pushing past Gerard as he made his way up the same steps I was about to go down

Mikey didn’t even call after me, I felt like crying. I had the biggest urge to run away but cowardly opted for my bus instead. This entire thing was Mikey’s fault. He should have told me that we should just be friends. Doesn’t he know who I am? we’re both kidding ourselves if we think this could ever last. I found my bus at last, pausing at the side of it and eyeing out a spot beside the door. Without second thought I began pummelling my fist over and over again in the same spot. I heard muffled yelling from inside before Patrick and Andy flew down the stairs, wondering what the fuck was going on.

“Pete! What are you-“  
“Grab his other arm Patrick” Andy said, trying his hardest to stop my fist connecting with the bus once more

I began sobbing, growing weak against their pulling and tugging. My hand ached like hell, as they sat me backwards I managed to kick the bus a few more times before collapsing on my back

“It’s ok Pete. Please tell us what’s up?” Patrick said rubbing my arm

“No one fucking understands!” I yelled bringing my cupped hands to my face

“I don’t even understand!!” 

“If this is about who you’ve been hanging out with a lot recently, I think there is a couple of people who might understand.I think you need some rest right now though.” Said Andy

“Let’s get your hand cleaned up too” Patrick offered as he stood up, lending his arm to help me up

“You guys couldn’t possibly understand, having feelings for someone you’re not supposed to and trying so hard to hide it in public” I blurted looking Andy in the eyes

“Well thats not entirely true, but I didn’t mean Patrick and I, I meant Gerard and Frank. You should talk to them.” Andy suggested, patting me on the back

I hadn’t even thought of Gerard and Frank. Andy was right, out of everyone I knew on this tour they would know how I felt.

“Oh yeah let me just talk to Gerard about how I love his brother one minute when his sucking my dick then hurt him when we get talking about each other” I said sarcastically

“Just get on the bus asshole” Patrick said, gesturing to the door. I took one last look at the dents I had made, cradled my hand and lead the way up the stairs reluctantly 

I rolled onto my bunk, my head spinning and my knuckles throbbing, red raw. I shut my eyes and waited for sleep but all could see was movies of him on my eyelids. How could something that felt so right be so wrong? These movies hurt more than my hand, I needed them to stop. I reached under my pillow and opened the jar of sleeping pills I kept for times like these. I would take 3 instead of my usual two, seeing as the dredges of coke in my system planned on hanging around a while longer.

***

Mikey’s hand caressed my thigh as it moved upwards to the flesh that yearned to be touched just one last time by him. Every time i was close he would pull away- teasing me, toying with my desire for him to tear me apart from the outside in.

“Please” I begged, mouthing the word only to have my voice not cooperate

“MIKEY” I yelled, just to test my vocal chords once more- yep I heard that one with my own ears 

We were in a bright white room, with no furniture, no art, no nothing, just me and him. I didn’t know where we were but this room felt familiar all the same.

I wasn’t afraid- no, I was warm, completely satisfied as I rested on the backs of my elbows watching my lover beneath me.

Why was I still fully clothed? Mikey sure was taking his sweet ass time. I guess we had all the time in the world in here..for once in my life I didn’t feel like I needed to be anywhere else. We were the most important people to each other, we were all that mattered.

I felt him tugging me, I didn’t remember him undoing my zipper or by passing my boxers, which were now around my knees

I was moaning care free, repeatedly, cathartically. No one on the outside could hear me, I could truly be myself, warts and all with my love.

I felt my face flush hot and a surge in sensation in my groin

It had never felt so good to pant in synchronisation with someone stroking me 

I was on the edge of coming and it would be glorious.

Strangely I started to rock, side to side, starting slow and quickly ascending into a violent shoving

I squeezed my eyes and opened, a natural reaction of “Oh fuck!” Leaving my lips as I came to the realisation that I was in fact in the dark with shadows of people looming over me- a stark contrast to the white room alone with Mikey.

As I blinked a few more times, faces I recognised came into focus, I was surprised to see Gerard, Frank and Mikey amongst Patrick, Andy and Joe.

Frank was smirking widely, Gerard wouldn’t look at me and Mikey was blushing as he sat next to me on the bed. Patrick was looking at the floor in front of him, Joe’s eyebrow cocked in such a way that read “What the actual fuck” and Andy was smiling at Frank

“Um?..Is this an intervention?” I wittily remarked

“No, maybe it should be though, “ Mikey began

“It’s 1.30pm, we couldn’t wake you up so we went and got Mikey cos we were worried” Patrick added

I began to feel a very obvious wetness below

“Shit! Did I piss myself!?” I asked quickly covering my boxer clad groin with my blanket

I was met with a chorus of laughter as I looked for an answer in Mikey’s facial expression

“Not quite..I think you had a dream” Mikey blushed, a wave of embarrassment instantly taking over my whole being

“What the fuck!? “ I screamed, sitting up

“Uhhh Mikey” Frank imitated softly, causing everyone to laugh once again

“NO, I did not!?” I questioned as my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at the realisation that all of my friends may have witnessed me having a fucking wet dream.

“It’s ok Petey” Mikey said, smiling softly and rubbing my arm

I cradled my head into my palms and brought my knees to my chest, feeling the fabric at my thighs stick in awkward places.


	6. Warm showers and poor movie references

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a while! I love writing this though, I've fallen down the dark hole that is FOB and I think imma be here a while..what has my life come too, its 2019 and I'm still fucking emo.

Mikey helped me out of bed and lead me towards the bathroom  
Mikey closed the door behind him and met me with a smile, placing a hand on my chest. I took his hips and ran my hands up and down them, taking in the slight contours of his edges

I nodded towards the shower, asking him to join me, giving him no option as I grabbed the hem of his shirt and slid it up over his head

I took off my boxers leaving him to finish undressing as I admired him from inside the shower 

Our bodies were polar opposites, his was slender and pale, mine dark and stocky

He had managed a slight tan on his arms and neck, his blonde streaks also kissed by extra sun light.

“Pete…what happened?” He asked taking both of my hands and studying my knuckles

“Nothing..it’s stupid. I’ve just got a lot on my mind” I spoke opening my mouth to catch a stream of water before lazily pushing it out so that it ran down my chin and my chest

Mikey left a wet kiss on my knuckles as I flinched in pain

“Be with me? On this tour I mean? Then we can end things if thats what you want?” He spoke, dropping my hands

The word ‘yes’ was begging to be set free by my mouth, but I consciously hesitated. Was this all he could sum our love up to? A couple of weeks on tour, just to go back to casual friendship when this ends? 

I am not attached. 

I. Am. Not. Attached. 

“Yeah, sure…I mean we’re just really close friends anyway. That’s all.” I said as if I was laying down our friendship boundaries. 

Mikey smiled, but his eyes gave away his pain. 

He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck and we held each other under the calming Luke warm water that bound us both.

“I love you” I spoke into the running water, muffling the sound that left my lips

Mikey’s head shot up from my shoulder

“What!?” He smiled, ever so sweetly

I looked down at my hands on his hips and squeezed

“I love you” I said again, cowardly avoiding eye contact 

Mikey grabbed my face and crashed his lips to mine, breaking apart chaotically every few seconds

“Really?!” He squealed

I nodded, grinning up at him

I am not attached.

Mikey pushed me playfully against the wall of the shower and I instantly shoved him back, pressing my wet body against his, running my hand through his hair and tugging

I slotted myself between his legs and snaked my hand down to what I wanted. He moaned at my touch, slinking his head back against the shower wall, exposing his Adam’s apple

I felt a hand under me and one on my cock and he began to pump in unison to the rhythm my fingers played on him

This was not enough, I dropped to a bended knee and took him in my mouth, his hips thrusting back and forward   
As he paced a hand on the back of my head

I began to stroke myself with my free hand and sensed that he was close, I gave a few more strong tugs and sucks and stood up, wrapping my hands around both of our swollen erections so that our undersides were touching

We were both panting, locking eye contact as the friction increased before we both came simultaneously, our cum mixing as it spilled over my hands

I wasn’t privy to much gay porn but the image of me and Mikey doing what we just did definitely made up for that 

“I love..you too” Mikey panted between heavy breaths 

I smiled as I pooled water in my hands and splashed it over him to clean him up

He picked up a bar of soap and pulled me into him, turning me around so that I faced away from him. He ran the bar across my collarbones and moved over my nipples slowly making his way down my chest

“I love touching you” he whispered in my ear as I leant my head back against him

I collected water in my mouth and spat out a little fountain 

“You’re so cute Peter Pan” he giggled

“No,” I spun around to face him, gabbing his cheeks and squishing them  
“You are Milky Way” I said before kissing his lips that I had squished between my palms

Finally I turned the taps off and stepped out to wrap a towel around my waist

I went to the mirror and started to tousle my hair

Mikey came behind me and started to do the same. I turned my attention to his hair and spiked up the front of it   
“Mmm very ‘There’s Something About Mikey’…is that hair gel!?” 

Mikey laughed at my poor movie reference before ugly front parting my side fringe

“Aw my little nerd” he marvelled, cupping my jaw as I pushed my lip under front teeth

I picked up Mikey’s glasses from the sink and put them on 

“What do math and my dick have in common?” I asked, receiving only a raised brow from Mikey

“They’re both hard for you” I winked

Mikey burst into a fit of giggles, small tears rolling down his cheeks

“Ok, no more wearing my glasses, they obviously turn you into a comedic genius”  
He said sliding his glasses effortlessly from my ears

I leant back against the sink and remembered how this morning played out  
“Oh god” I said cupping my face with my hands

“I can’t believe I had a wet dream..in front of EVERYBODY” I sighed loudly, feeling my cheeks go hot in my hands

“That was your fault” I poked my tongue out and slapped Mikey on the ass as he laughed and went to tickle me

“I’m just glad you were screaming my name” Mikey teased, successfully finding my weak spot between my neck

“Yeah well don’t get your hopes up. It was nothing sexual, we were playing Marco Polo in my dream except it was Mikey Polo. That’s all” 

“Ok then how do you explain the ‘wet’ part of your wet dream?” he questioned

“I dunno you must have slipped and fell on my dick” I looked to Mikey’s arm and caught a glimpse of the letters that had turned from black to a faded grey

“Oh..I forgot about that” I said reaching out to hold his wrist “I’m Sorry”

“It’s no big deal. I played my set with it. Gerard’s not too happy with you though.” I was upset that I let Gerard’s perception of me falter. But hey, that’s what I’m good at I suppose.

****

We both played our sets and made sure we spent time apart, knowing that the barbecue tonight would let us reunite. 

Mikey couldn’t resist messaging me though 

‘Please don’t touch anymore stuff, I want to make memories with you we won’t forget xo MW’

I was a sucker for our time together and I wanted to savour every waking moment with him, but in the back of my mind there was something holding me back.

Summer fling, never meant to last.

‘I promise. Me too. Xo PW’

As I walked with Patrick after our show I spotted Frank and Gerard, remembering what Andy and Patrick suggested 

Gerard’s face was stone cold as I approached them, luckily Frank half smiled as I went in to hug him.  
I shared an awkward half hug with Gerard before asking if I could borrow Frank for a while

Gerard shrugged at the idea, a level above ignoring me as Frank inconspicuously brushed his hand against his, touching his ass for a sweet second

“What are we gonna talk about?” Frank asked instantly, placing his hands in his jean pockets

“Guys” I smiled, leading him to deserted tent by the entry of the artists quarters

“Ok, you have my attention” Frank sat down so that we were facing each other

“I have never been so confused, yet so in love and I was wondering if you could tell me how you deal with this shit because he is the only thing that makes me the happiest i’ve ever been, but I’m so fuckin’ scared.” 

Frank rubbed his mouth and rested his jaw in his hand

“Well..Gerard and I are just friends. If thats what you mean?” Frank sighed 

i laughed, I felt like going on a huge tangent about how he could trust me not to tell anyone (not that it would matter because they literally make out on stage) 

“If you want my honest advice…It’s hard..and it’s not something I’ve really figured out how to deal with yet. I just kinda go along it. We didn’t mean for it to happen, but I care about him so much that if he ever wanted this to stop it would actually kill me but I would respect his decision and let him go.” I was not expecting such a raw answer from Frank especially as he had just tried to palm his relationship off with Gerard as a platonic one

“Wow..I never thought of it like that..” I spoke, his tattoos distracting my eyes.

He began to bite his finger before continuing

“I hope he never lets go. And I hope the same for you. In the end you both gotta be happy and respect each others decisions.” 

“Yeah..does it scare you to like come out and like do you guys want to be a couple publicly?”

“Yeah, Like I wouldn’t care if I knew he didn’t care.. but I think he does care and I can’t blame him for that. We don’t speak about it a lot because I don’t think even we can label ourselves. A lot of things would change if we were to come out and say that we are in a relationship. Behind closed doors we’re just happy to have each other. It fucks with my head because the love I have for him is so intense, I’ve never felt a love like that….There’s something appealing though as well as having it our little secret from most of the world. We already made a pact that if I wasn’t married by 30 we would marry each other.”

Fuck he was good at this. Him and Gerard had clearly been doing this for a lot longer than just a summer.

“So I should just go with it?” I asked

“Yeah, if that’s how you feel though, if it’s not, you gotta do what you feel is best. It’s not going to be easy either way though (LOL,TRU).”

“I’m glad someone else knows what it’s like..” I sighed

“Put your everything into it, it’s sad to let other peoples opinions get in the way of our feelings. So many people feel the same dude, I would rather love and loose than never love you know?”

I nodded profusely, “You’re so right” 

If was going to loose Mikey, I wouldn’t let him go easily.

****


	7. Hot coals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My partner and I just bought tickets to warped tour in AC!! we will be travelling all the way from Australia ..so freaking geed! I hope you're all well, thank you for reading and sorry this took me over 3 weeks to update lol xx

Fresno’s heat was unrelenting so it was safe to say that as sun set in a myriad of colours everybody breathed a sigh of relief. 

The energy rebounding on my insides was enough to make me feel euphoric. After I quickly pulled out the clothes I wanted to wear I lay them out on my bed and set off to annoy any one and everyone within a close range.

I found Patrick first, making noodles in the small kitchen, carefully balancing a kettle as he poured boiling water into his bowl

I jumped on his back and began kissing his head, catching him completely off guard

“Pete! Careful I’m gonna burn-“ He tried to scream but one of my arms ended up around his mouth as I made him sway frantically

“Stop!” He finally yelled, clawing at me to rip me off him

“I’m sorry, I’m just so excited!” I jumped off him puffing, glad to see that a small smile had graced his lips

“I can see that!” He yelled as I made my way to Andy who was laying on his bed on his phone

Andy looked up briefly, feebly attempting to brace himself from my surprise attack

“Are you ready!? Are you ready!!?” I squealed as he shoved me with one arm, still managing to keep his phone to his ear with the other 

“Get off you annoying five year old” 

“Who are you talking to? Oh! uh !yeah!” I screamed making all the intercourse noises

“Fuck off” Andy smiled successfully pushing me off his bunk this time

“Sorry mom..no, it was just Pete “ Andy continued as my face stung with heat and turned pink

‘Sorry’ I mouthed, grinning embarrassingly 

My attention snapped back to seeing Mikey and making this a Fourth of July we would never forget

I pulled out my bag and found my favourite CK perfume, dousing myself in it as I sprayed it wildly, making Patrick choke as it wafted his way

As I put the perfume bottle back into my bag, a familiar clear baggie dropped onto my fingers

I paused and stared at it  
I had promised. No one would know if I had just had a little bump. If I didn’t touch it though, I could proudly boast to Mikey about how I kept true on my word. I shoved it in the back of my jean pocket.. in case anyone asked me for some later..

“Pete, take these” Patrick asked bending into the tiny fridge and holding out a pack of Weiner dogs

“Ohh, no thanks I’m saving myself for a special Weiner” I smiled as Patrick’s frustration with me was obvious if by the way he hurled a bottle of sauce meant anything

The others grabbed napkins and other useful bbq essentials and headed out the tour bus as darkness threatened the sky with each passing moment 

As I placed the dogs on a small camping table my phone buzzed in my back pocket 

I was happy to see a message from Mikey 

‘You look cute sld x MW’   
I spun around quickly to see the MCR boys making their way over, a sudden rush of emotions bubbling in my stomach as they came closer

I channeled these emotions into the physical action of running straight for Mikey and jumping on him, catching him unaware and clipping Ray in the process

I buried my face into the crook of his neck and inhaled deeply

There it was, that sweet scent of a culmination of different odours that shouldn’t be attractive to any normal human being but were so attractive to me

“Oh, hi!” Mikey’s voice let out shakily as he snaked his hands around my ass to hold me up

“We could smell you from inside the bus” Frank laughed, walking with his trademark hands-in-pockets

“My perfume uh..broke..all over me” I lied, lifting my head to speak before making it comfortable again in Mikey’s neck

“Sure!”Frank giggled, clearly too smart to see through my coverup

Mikey let me down softly when we had reached the others, keeping a soft hand on my back

Bob and Patrick got to work on the barbecue whilst Gerard handed out drinks to everyone

I gladly accepted a beer and looked at Mikey as I remembered our promise

I sat down and pulled his hand to sit beside me

then I reached for both of his soft hands and stroked them as I looked into the earthy hues of his irises 

“I kept our promise” I smiled

“Good, you’re the best” he smiled back 

The first firework of the night exploded in the velvet dark above us, a beautiful spatter of blues and reds glittering as they fell.

Mikey’s face illuminated as the light danced across it, making his eyes sparkle gloriously

A few more loud bangs followed as I stood and hoisted Mikey up, wanting to spend the moment alone

We made our way down to the clearing where the bridge we had visited the other day was, glad that only a few other couples had situated themselves in spread out spots along the dried up river edge.

We were closer to the fiery blooms that began bursting more continually. We came to sit next to each other, our knees up to our chests as we daily held hands

Everything in this moment was perfect. With each other, unafraid, unaffected by anyone else.

My cheeks hurt from the constant grin not even the sticky hot air could ruin this for us

“I’ll never forget about you” Mikey spoke, his eyes still focused on the display of light above us

I could have sworn my heart grew little wings and fluttered inside me

That was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me

“I’ll never forget you either Mikey Way” I spoke, breaking my gaze from the sky

“This is so beautiful, I’m so happy” Mikey’s smile widened, his eyes never leaving the bright bursts

Whatever love was I’m pretty sure this was it. 

“Mikey?” I asked softly, rubbing my fingers slowly up his thigh 

“Yeah?” finally his big beautiful eyes locked on to mine

I took the deepest breath I’ve ever taken in my life and squeezed my eyes tightly

“You are the most beautiful poem ever written. Seeing you happy is the purest thing on this earth. I’ve never liked a guy, or anyone for that matter as much as I like you. I’ll never forget this, ever.”

“Aww..Pete, that’s so sweet” Mikey smiled

“I guess what I’m trying to say is..I love you.” 

Mikey was speechless, his smile brighter than all the fireworks in the dark sky

The silence between us manifested into an uneasy anxiety in my stomach before he finally spoke up

“You too, I love you too” He smiled, cupping my jaw, bringing our lips together

His touch sending electric waves all over, especially to my crotch

“I want you, come with me” he spoke, breaking away from me

I got up and followed him towards the bottom of the bridge, weaving through dense scrub

We came to a secluded nook under the side of the bridge, not breaking our linked hands as we sat on a ledge

I jumped on Mikey’s lap and kissed him to the rhythm of more explosions above us

My hands making quick work of lifting his shirt up over his head before he did the same, slipping off my hoodie first

Mikey placed hot kisses on my neck as I grinded eagerly on his thighs

“Can’t wait to deep throat you” I whispered in his ear

I felt Mikey’s teeth against my neck and could tell he was smiling

“Oh I also came prepared” he said shuffling underneath me, reaching inside his jean pocket

He pulled out the smallest bottle of lube I have ever seen and I took it, holding it up close to my eyes to study it

“Where the fuck did you get this from?” I laughed, noting the ‘new exiting strawberry flavour’ on the label

“We stopped at a shop in the last city that had everything! I knew this would come in handy “ Mikey grinned 

“I can’t wait to taste it” i popped open the lid as I got down from Mikey’s lap, letting him undo his jeans and slide down his boxers 

To my delight Mikey was hard and ready

I dolloped the lube in my hands, wasting no time in taking him, running my palms slowly down his length

Mikey’s head fell back in bliss as I ran my thumb over his slit, my pants growing tighter by the second

I bent down, sucking at the tip and softly grazing it with my teeth

“Oh my god” he hummed, running his hand through my hair

I kept my hands running up and down him before letting him know what I wanted

“Fuck me?” I asked quietly, bending to his ear

“Really?!” His head shot up in disbelief

“Yeah, I want it bad.” I growled, looking at him sternly

He stood up and I grabbed his hips as he flipped me so that I could sit back on the stone ledge

Mikey took our two tee shirts and my hoodie and placed them on the ledge behind me

I laid back and began unbuttoning my jeans as he kissed me tenderly on my navel

“Are you sure?” He asked, gazing up at me

“Yeah” I nodded, wanting him to get to it before I changed my mind

“It’ll hurt a bit but ride through it, it feels so good”

“Ok” I whispered as I felt his hand go under me, lightly touching at my entrance

He squirted the lube over his fingers and I flinched as some of the cool liquid touched me

My hands clenched into tight balls as he gently slid a finger inside me

“Relax, it’ll hurt less if you can”

i was tempted to squeeze my eyes shut, but I opted to keep them on Mikey instead

I was handling one finger well so I nodded for him to slide another in

I hissed as the other finger entered slowly scissoring with the other

I kept telling myself to relax under the other hand that Mikey had stroking my stomach

“Ok I’m ready” I let out, wanting this to be enjoyable yet quick, if it did indeed end up hurting

Mikey didn’t react straight away, instead he massaged me in large circles, ensuring I was truly ready.

He slowly pulled his fingers out and aimed himself, still stroking my stomach as his other hand stabilised on my hip

“Tell me if it hurts too much and ill stop right away” 

I nodded as his tip threatened its entrance

I counted one..two..relax…as on the final word he pushed in half way

A deep, short moan escaped as I clenched around him

“You’re doing so good Petey” Mikey soothed

I grabbed for his arm and started to rub it, letting him know it was ok to carry on

As he pushed in and out I kept telling myself to relax until it finally became comfortable, bordering on pleasurable

I felt full and even more connected to Mikey on some sort of level

As his thrusts became more regular I reached down to stroke myself, marvelling at his pale torso rocking back and forwards

I watched as his face squeezed together in pleasure, his mouth forming open shapes

I could watch him like this forever

Mikey added a hand to my cock and I let him do the work, his hand felt so much better than my own

“I love your body so much” he smiled between panting 

“I love- HOLY SHIT” I squealed as he hit a particular spot inside me

“I found it didn’t I?” He quizzed, raising an eyebrow

“I..I think-SO” I yelled again as he thrust in again

“Fuck!” I let out, pushing myself onto him this time

“Yeah, fuck me!” 

Mikey pounded into me a few more times before telling me he was close

His eyes shut tightly as he let out several loud, fast moans before his rocking became slower

I followed closely behind him, seeing white flashes as I reached absolute euphoria


	8. Jet Packing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end draws nigh homies.

As we made our way back up the scrub, I helped Mikey jump from boulder to boulder.  
We laughed as I wrapped my arms around his waist, pretending to lean him over the edges before quickly catching him. 

We reached the clearing that once had couples huddled together watching the sky above.

Hand in hand we walked until we came to the familiar lights around our busses.

I thought about getting high and remembered the baggy in my back pocket.  
With my free hand I felt it’s magnetic force, enticing me to open it just for one bump.  
I resisted, thinking about Mikey and proving to him that I could keep our promise.

A small figure made way towards us, propping up a taller body that was struggling to walk 

“Gee” the voice giggled,  
“Your so hard to keep straight” 

“Oh god” Mikey uttered squeezing my hand

“Mm, you’d know all about that Frankie” Gerard slurred 

Frank looked up and saw us approaching

“Where have you two been?” He asked, smirking. Gerard’s lazy arm draped loosely around the back of his neck.

“We-“ I started

“You’ve been fucking my little brother, haven’t you!” Gerard winked as Frank brought his hand to his mouth

“Gee!” Frank exclaimed

Mikey giggled, looking down at his shoes

“Uhh..nooo?” I lied, trying my hardest to keep my smile at bay

Muffled sound came from behind Frank’s hand as Gerard tried to talk again

“You got any coke?” He asked, successfully lowering Frank’s hand

Mikey shot me a glance

“Um, let me see if I have any left over from the other day” I said patting my back pocket

As I felt it brush past my knuckles I noticed Frank shaking his head as he eyed me. It was as if he was saying no on Gerard’s behalf.

“Mmm, nope! Sorry..” I sighed

Gerard’s brows furrowed as he pouted whilst Frank’s mouth formed a small semi circle

“We’re gonna get drinks” Mikey smiled, taking my arm and breezing past the two

“Bye!” I waved behind my shoulder, long enough to catch Gerard’s feeble attempt at an angry face and middle finger. 

-

Mikey and I sat beside each other with our knees touching, watching Frank and Bob do awful ‘magic tricks’.

I bravely put my arm around his waist and found some skin to graze over with my finger tips

Those eyes teared away from the performance in front of us, looking at me, making me feel like I was the most important thing in his world.

I smirked as I nodded to his bus, receiving a little nod from him.

-

We ended up watching Spirited Away on the couch, occasionally smiling when we caught one another looking.  
I took my shirt off, ofcourse, the heat between us combined with the muggy summer air called for it.

“I’m so happy right now” he smiled positively

“Me too” I smiled back as we pressed our lips together

As he stood up to go to the bathroom I made a blog post ending It with

‘hot and miserable but totally in love.’

 

We ended up in the shower together, lathering shampoo in each others hair, the cramped confines making the steam exacerbated.

I jumped out before Mikey, stealing his glasses and placing them on my nose, turning my back

as he stepped out of the shower, running his hand through his hair I spun around

“Me when I see Mikey Way naked” I laughed motioning to his fogged up glasses

he laughed, pushing my shoulder as I walked closer to him, wrapping my arms around his waist

“Give me those, I wanna see you too” he said gently sliding the glasses off from behind my ears

“That’s better” she smiled looking down at me as I squeezed him tightly 

“I love that your so little” he beamed, kissing the top of my head as I frowned

“You just like it ‘cos I’m blowjob height” I smirked before spontaneously licking one of his nipples, noticing it grow hard instantly.

Mikey pulled back from me, caught off guard

“No..not everything’s about sex. Besides I’m not into lord of the rings porn anyway”

My jaw fell open

“Wow, that’s not the impression I got the other when I was SUCKIN-“ Mikey’s hand flew up to cover my mouth as he chuckled 

“It must suck to be so oppressed,…always being over looked.” He said, mockingly patting the top of my head  
I opened my mouth to respond but was cut off yet again by one of his hilarious jokes

“Aww, at least you never look down on people” he poked his tongue out

“Mikey..” I pouted, pressing my head into his chest

“Ok, ok last one-  
I met this really short baker called Peter the other day.  
He was telling me all about baking flatbreads.  
It was fascinating.  
I love the Pita patter of tiny Pete.”

We giggled as I began tickling him before a knock rapped on the door

“Stop gettin’ it on, I need to pee!” Frank’s angry little voice rang out

“Find a bush!” I yelled before Mikey finally opened the door, revealing a rather pissed off Frank and a rather pissed Gerard

“Gee things really are starting to look like lord of the rings around here” Mikey remarked, setting his eyes upon Frank

“Ha ha, haven’t heard that one before - Genius”  
Frank pushed his way in, coming behind Mikey and coercing us out before slamming the door shut and locking it. 

Mikey and I made our way to his bed, hearing he bathroom door handle twist open. Frank’s hand appeared quickly setting itself on Gerard’s collar,pulling him inside the stall.

Mikey and I laughed loudly as we dropped our towels and slipped under his blankets.

I curled up to his back, tucking my legs behind his so that we fit together like a puzzle.

“I love jet packing you” I whispered, squeezing his mid section

“Is that like reverse spooning?” 

“Yup, when the little guy is on the outside, thus resembling a human jet pack”

“I like that” he let out softly, taking one of my hands to kiss it

I listened to his chest rise and fall as he drifted off to sleep.

-

I had slept a few hours, thank god. But I was in the mood the pester someone and I had been stewing over the events of last night, deciding to take my payback on Mikey sleeping innocently in the early hours of morning.

“Mikey” I whispered coarsely 

Nothing

I placed a hand on his arm and began rocking him

“Mikey!”

He woke with a grunt, rolling away from me

“Hey, I’ve always wondered how tall people like you sleep when the blanket doesn’t even cover you from your shoulders to your toes”

“What the- Pete its too early for this shit”

“Ohh..cant sleep huh?”

Mikey grunted again

“…Is it because of the blanket?” That earned me a hard pillow to the face as I giggled violently.

The past few days sure had been fun and magical, living in our own little world, members of the Fraternal Order of the Handsome Man; Mikey, of course, the leader.

 

-DAYS LATER-

Another night of routine drinking saw Mikey and I hidden within bushes away from artificial light.

We had stumbled away hand in hand before I pulled him close to me, running my hands through the back of his hair and lightly tugging

I grinded up on his leg as his hands found their way to my ass.

My breath grew heavy as my jeans grew painfully tighter.

Mikey must have realised my frustration as he dropped to his knees suddenly and undid my zip

I let out a groan as I sprung free of my boxers, feeling sparks shoot up me as he grabbed hold of me

He began teasing me, slowly palming me from base to tip, not giving me the pace I craved

“P..please…faster..want to be in your mouth” I whined, rubbing the back of his head and manipulating his soft hair through my fingers

Without a word he wrapped his lips around me and started twisting his hand around the base, increasing the speed and tightness of his rhythm 

I looked down at him on his knees, bobbing his head back and fourth before being overcome by an internal wave of emotion. A big ugly realisation started to manifest inside me. 

We had been so irresponsible to forget about the impending end of us.

He was pushing me closer and closer to the edge, it felt strange being on the cusp of coming and crying at the same time. My senses where weighted, totally confused by the pleasure I was feeling physically and the juxtaposition of the hurt I felt emotionally.

Two last flicks of his wrists did it for me. I exploded in a mess at the back of his throat, letting out the most alien, guttural noises I was sure.

I pushed his head off me before I had finished my load completely, falling backwards, landing on my elbows and my ass

Mikey looked very confused before realising I was crying uncontrollably 

He rushed over to me, wiping his mouth with the back of his arm..


	9. Realised I can't not be with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am in love with writing this..I saw the new video clip for 'I've been waiting' and they look so cuuute..it was also a nice homage to Peep and I think he would have enjoyed it. There was a lot of cool symbolism in it too..
> 
> I hope you're all well I'm still recovering from the major roast Frank gave me on twitter looool ill get over it and this is the last time ill talk about it I promise.
> 
> It's so weird that there isn't more Petekey fics out there there's so much material and potential but I guess its hard when the relationship was never confirmed by either party and may not have happened at all..I feel like whilst they have moved on and have gorgeous families of their own there will always be a special place for one another in their hearts..I think a lot of f.o.b's songs are Pete coming closer to the realisation that they will never had what they once did, and he's trying to accept that..  
> anyway don't know how I ended up on a rant about something that I yet again have no business in.  
> byyyye xo

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Mikey “ I sobbed, crossing my arms aver my knees  
“Pete…hey..what’s wrong?” He asked stroking my arm softly as he moved closer to me tentatively   
“This..this is wrong..why are we doing this?” I looked up, rubbing my eyes as he diverted his own to the ground  
“Um…I don’t really know what to say….Are you starting to have feelings for me?”  
“I had feelings from the first time I laid eyes on you Mikey”  
“Oh..”he spoke, stopping the circular motions on my arm  
“I don’t want to just be your friend after all of this” I was almost pleading with him for my own sanity to say that we could be together and that everything would be ok. 

“Pete, we already said that it would be very difficult to continue like this after tour. If we were still together after this what happens to us if we break up, or get found out?”  
“I’m willing to risk getting found out”  
“I..I don’t know Pete..we need to think about this” No, I need to know now. You know the answer you’re just trying to act responsible.  
“Do you love me back?” I asked, needing his validation. He had me powerless, like none before. No one had ever broken me like he had. He made me ask ridiculous questions; the type that five year olds ask their crushes. Whats worse is that I knew this was ridiculous but he had me hanging off every last word. I was in so deep that I didn’t care that we had blurred the lines between friendship and love.

“I always will. Just know that, ok? Whatever happens, I will always love you. I’ll never forget about you, or our gang…I promise” he smiled, finally looking into my eyes.

I reached for his face and pulled him closer to me as we made out.

*****

*Later that night*

I couldn’t sleep. Cutting Mikey off was on a loop in my mind, much like a broken record being distorted as it repeats.  
The tour was close to ending; I had to end things with Mikey before he could end them with me.  
It had to be done tonight.

I decided to go to the bathroom and splash my face with water. As I slid a mouldy smelling towel down my face my eyes focused on a black lipstick perched on the vanity.

We would be on the road again in the morning, a final few shows to play before I could find solace at home, where I could go about my time as if this never happened.   
Just like we agreed.  
I came back to his bed and turned the torch on my phone so that I could see what I scrawled out on Mikey’s arm.

I had thought about this for a few days now; The perfect words to sum up everything.   
Something poetic yet passive, something only Mikey could decipher.  
He would definitely wake up soon if I didn’t hurry up.

As I pressed the lipstick to his fore arm I found my hand writing only one word.

‘FUCKED’.

That was my goodbye note.   
It seemed fitting, really.

It defined this whole thing between us. He and I were well and truly just that, in every sense of the word.

A feeling came over me; a superficial feeling of power and strength. I could do this, Mikey’s heart wouldn’t be the first one I’ve broken so carelessly.

Why would this be different to any other break up? 

‘Just go’ I kept telling myself

I leant over him, kissing his fore head and lightly taking his hand. A part of me wanted him to wake up, grab me by the arm and tell me that he didn’t want me to leave.

He didn’t though and before I left I gave him a second glance, taking him in one last time.

“I love you” I whispered sadly, letting his hand drop back beside him. Beads of water threatened upon my tear ducts, bringing with it a sensation of choking as a rock formed in my throat.

I needed to get fucked up.There was no way I could live out the rest of this tour sober, knowing that I had just thrown him away without a chance for him to comeback.

 

-

“Pete..Pete..” Patricks voice assaulted my ears and I just knew it had to be an ungodly hour.

I groaned as I rolled over to face him, rubbing my eyes. I was in my own bed.

“Mikey’s about to go on, you coming to watch?” He asked

Mikey. 

Even his name couldn’t leave me alone.

“No” I sighed, rolling back over hoping to fall asleep again

“Oh….ok. Well I’ll be back to wake you up for our set in a bit ok?”

“Mmm” I mumbled, waving him away

Sleep didn’t care for me, I should have known.

Along with a throbbing head ache came painful flashes of Mikey’s face.

I decided to get up and make a coffee, stepping over the bottles from last nights crusades.

Flashbacks from last night came in waves as I tried to piece together just what I did after leaving Mikey’s bus.


	10. Begin the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * graphic depiction of the KitKat Shuffle if you know what I mean. Also thoughts of detailed self harm mentioned*
> 
> This is Petes recollection of leaving Mikey's tour bus before Patrick wakes him to let him know Mikey's playing :)
> 
> the end is very nigh but my dumb ass keeps unnecessarily putting it off lol

I remembered getting into a car with Travie and sitting next to some girl. I shared the contents of my little plastic bag with her as we sped off down the road, fishtailing violently.

She kept putting her hand on my thigh to stabilise herself as Travie flew us around corners at breakneck speeds. 

We had finally stopped at a park down the road from our tour busses where Travie flicked another baggie at me as he leant against the door of the car.

The girl that had been sitting next to me took my hand and lead me to into the shadows of nearby trees

I opened the bag and we took turns, dunking our fingers in and rubbing the white powder on our gums when she took me by surprise.

As I brought my finger out of the small opening she grabbed my hand and opened her mouth, sucking eagerly at my pointer as she looked into my eyes.

The warm insides of her mouth had me melting as I bit my lip, keeping back the words ’stop it’ that stuck to my tongue.

I had seconds to think before she smiled and asked “You don’t have a girlfriend do you?”

It was strange, I didn’t have my usual pre Mikey urge to jump into a sexual situation simply because it presented itself.

That careless reckless flaming inferno that once burned within had been significantly exstinguished by a calming blue.

He had changed me. But maybe doing this could change me back, make me forget about this undeniably homosexual head fuck period of time that was both the best and the worst thing to happen to me.

Maybe doing this would shake all the thoughts of Mikey. Maybe I didn’t really like guys. Maybe after this I could live my life as a straight guy, eventually getting married and having kids-doing what I was put on this earth to do. He was just a failed experiment.

The fire may have been extinguished but the embers remain.

“No..” I said, taking her by the waist and pulling her into a kiss 

As our mouths moved slightly out of synch i found myself searching for that same level of connection that I had when Mikey and I kissed. Even all the coke racing through my veins couldn’t feign chemistry between us.

I was not into this.

I had to get over him though.

“I can’t believe I’m making out with Pete Wentz” she said, tearing away from my lips

I laughed awkwardly before she sat down, pulling me by my shirt so that I was hovering over the top of her.

I looked at her face properly, studying her dark brown eyes and jagged dark bangs that fell to the side. I wondered if she would still want to do this if she knew what Pete Wentz was really like.

She went to undo my belt but I shook my head and swatted her hand away. She looked confused before I placed my face between her legs and smiled, making her eyes light up

As much as I didn’t want to do this, I was also a sucker for making people happy at my expense.

Going down on her proved interesting when all I could picture was pleasuring Mikey. She moaned happily until she became so loud, totally overdoing the high pitched ditzy porno thing. 

This was awful, and in no way made me forget Mikey at all, instead it just made me crave him more.

She shook violently on the end of my fingers, gushing around them, indicating that she was done.

She reached again for my crotch but I awkwardly chuckled, sitting back on my heels

“You don’t even want me to suck you off?” She asked, a devilish glint sparking in her eyes

“Uhh nah-“ I began casually 

She crawled up to me slowly and spoke softly 

“Really?..cos I bet your hard dick would just love to release in the back of my throat”  
She said softly touching the front of my jeans

I looked down at her hand, still battling with my thoughts as to whether I wanted this or not

“It’ll feel so good, I promise..you made me come so hard and now I want you to come so I can return the favour” she said brining her mouth close to my ear 

“Don’t you want to fuck my tight little mouth?” She whispered , biting the top of my ear, making me hot and driving me insane

But I couldn’t do it.

“Aye Pete” thank god for Travie

“This girl’s gonna drop me back at the busses and take her friend home, you coming?” He yelled from the car

“Aw, we gotta go” I said to her as I extended my hand to help her stand up

“No fair” she pouted as I took her hand, leading her to the car.

As Travie and the two girls got in I went around to his window 

“I’m just gonna walk back I gotta clear my head, thanks for the ride though”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, nice to meet you..uh..”

“Katie” the girl said from the back 

Travie handed me a few drinks then held my hand, pulling it to his chest before I waved them off

I had a burning urge to jack off so I headed for the same tree Katie and I had just been under

I placed the bottles beside me and rested my back against the stump, thinking for a second about how weird this was but not being able to shake the image of Mikey.

I grabbed hold of myself and violently jacked off, coming quickly as I vividly pictured Mikey going down on me.

I panted heavily, lazily pulling my pants up, resting my head on the tree behind me

“That’s the last time” I said out loud to myself. “I’m just fucked up. If I wasn’t so high right now I would have been able to have sex with that girl and be straight.” I thought

I cracked open a drink and swigged it down, noticing how quickly the alcohol fused with the slightly out of it sensation the coke had given me.

As I finished the bottle I had an idea.

I smashed it on the edge of the tree root, watching it shatter into brown shards, the neck of it still in tact in my fingers.

I looked at the sharp edge debating the idea of just pressing it to my wrists.

The sound of footfall increasing in volume caught my attention.

I looked through the bushes and heard a familiar voice

“Pete?!” It was Mikey. How the fuck did he know where I was?

“Mikey?” I answered back, hearing his steps come towards me

“Pete!” He cried out, rushing over to me and collapsing into me with a big embrace

“What are you doing? Why are you holding glass?”

I looked down at my hands then looked back up at his face. His eyes felt like home.

“How did you find me?”

“Frank woke me up, he said he saw Travie driving up the road and spoke to him. He said you wanted to walk back, but Frank got worried and woke me”

I rolled my eyes and let my head rest on the bark behind me

“Pete, what’s going on? Do you want to talk about it?”

I took a deep breath

“Mikey, I don’t love you. We shouldn’t have crossed the line”

His face dropped and he moved back from me

“Oh..I -“

“You need to move on from me ok? This never happened, we never happened”

He looked horrified. He couldn’t speak and its not like I was going to let him anyway

“Did Frank mention the girls Travie was with? I bet he conveniently left that part out..Well yeah, I went down on one of them…but you know what was fucked up about it?”

Mikey didn’t respond verbally, he didn’t need to, his eyes said it all.

“All I could picture was you, Mikey fucking Way. She didn’t even come close. You fucked me up!”

I yelled, waving the bottle neck around, punctuating my every word

“You’re on something aren’t you?” He muttered softly, looking at the ground, still crouching.

“I can handle myself Mikey, I’m a fucking adult” my stomach started churning right then so I brought my knees to my chest as I winced

“I’m sorry for fucking you up..” He started, sniffling as he brought his hands to his head

“It’s…ok..” I writhed, grimacing as the bile churned in my stomach, threatening to expel itself from my body at any second

“Please come with me back to your bus. Then I’ll leave you forever. I promise.”  
He said, taking the glass from my hand and helping me stand up

As I stood looking up at his lips and his sad expression, I felt the need to make it all go away from him. A world that had Mikey upset in it was something I wanted to make sure never happened again.

I groggily pressed my lips to his, painfully reeling when his didn’t move back. Continuously I pecked at them before he eventually stepped back.

“Pete..don’t.” he said gently raising a hand to my chest

“I wanna…I love you so much Mikey. I’m sorry I got so high and I got with that girl and uuuugghhh” there it was. I keened over as the acidic fountain of vomit left my throat.

He rushed over, patting my back and stabilising me by my arm as the contents of my stomach emptied itself on the grass below.

“Come on, let’s get you back to the bus..please?” He begged, tugging at my arm

“Wait!” I said, holding a finger up

“I need to grab the other two bottles” he sighed as I swayed my way back to the tree stump, collecting the bottles under my arm.

“I’ll always care about you.” He said as I came back to his side and we started the walk to the bus

“Don’t say that, it’ll make this whole thing harder.” I grunted, feeling my head roll from side to side as Mikey looped his arm through mine

“You need help Pete. You’re self destructing and it worries me.”

“Forget about me. I’ll forget about you in no time!”

“It’s not that easy for me” he sounded nasally as if he had a cold

We stayed silent for a couple of minutes before Gerard and Frank walked briskly towards us as we came closer to the busses

“Is he alright?” Gerard asked as Frank took my other arm over his shoulders, forcing me to hold both bottles in each hand

“I’m fucking…fine” I slurred 

“He just vomited, he needs some water” Mikey said

“Ok well we’ll get him back to our bus and-“ Frank began

“No! Take me to my bus. I can’t afford to fall in love with Mikey again. It can’t happen Gerard. Living like Frank would kill me, holding onto someone who doesn’t want to shout from the top of the world that they love you because they’re too scared of what everyone else thinks” 

Gerard went silent at my nonsensical bullshit.

The three of them did take me to my bus, setting me down at the bottom of the stairs.

“Can someone go get one of them?” Mikey asked gesturing at the bus

Frank hopped over me, opened the door and went inside, in search of someone

“Hey” Mikey greeted as Frank followed an especially tired looking Andy down the stairs 

“What have you fucking done now ?” Andy asked rubbing his eyes and sitting next to me

“I went down on a girl but all I could think of was Him” I said, lazily pointing in what I thought was Mikey’s direction

“Gerard?” Andy asked confoundedly

“Ew, no, Mikey!..I mean not ew cos he’s not pretty,but ew because that’s Mikey’s brother” 

“I was gonna say, we were about to have some problems” Frank chimed in 

“ANYWAY” Mikey spoke up

“He threw up, I think he’s mixed drugs and alcohol. I just wanted to make sure he actually gets on the bus and stays there” he explained

“Alright, come on buddy, let’s go” Andy suggested 

“But Mikey” I said standing up, moving to Mikey and trying to stay in one spot as I looked up at him

“Stay with me, just one more time?” I asked, moving my hand to the front of his jeans, biting my lip 

“Pete..please. Can we talk tomorrow when you’re sober?” He asked, grabbing my hand and gently placing it at my side

His rejection in that moment made me snap. I was about to ruin this the only way I knew how.

“No. Don’t talk to me ever Mikey, we’re done. I mean it. I hate you. I hate you for making me question everything!Good bye Mikey Way I-“

“Hey! Stop talkin’ to him like that” Gerard said, moving between Mikey and I

“Hey ,hey, hey” Frank said, pushing his arms between Gerard and I 

“Come on lets go” Frank spoke again , collecting Gerard and Mikey in his arms as he pushed them in the direction of their bus

Andy pulled me by the back of my shirt as I watched Mikey looking at me as he slowly walked away backwards.

Our eyes locked, it's funny how someones whole face can be expressionless yet their eyes can speak so many words.

After a moment he looked down before finally turning around and walking off.

I slammed the tour bus door shut and went to my bed. Andy fixed me a glass of water and told me that he would watch me fall asleep.

I didn’t argue. I remembered the bottles of alcohol I had slipped into the back of my jeans before I sat down and yanked them from my pockets.

“Here” I said offering one to Andy.


	11. The End, for now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last official chapter but I definitely think I’ll be writing a sort of epilogue to bring the story up to speed with current day Petekey. Thankyou so much for reading lots of love xo

I couldn’t stand being alone with my thoughts and the flashbacks so I lazily got dressed and sheepishly hopped off the bus.

I could hear MCR playing one of the last songs in their set and decided to catch a small glimpse from the side of the stage.

It was hard to see Mikey at first, with Frank weaving around the stage and with Ray’s big hair in the way, but I did manage to catch him uninterrupted for a moment.

He just stood there, playing with not even half of the energy he usually had. It was hard to see his face but he definitely wasn’t smiling. As my eyes trailed down to his arms I noticed his sleeves rolled up, the thick black strokes that I had defaced his skin with a shocking contrast to his pale skin.

I rubbed my face and rolled my eyes. I don’t deserve to be let out in public without a lead. Mikey’s rolled up sleeves painfully acknowledge the affect I had on him. Did he agree? 

Did he also know we were fucked from the beginning?

***

The weeks after tour turned into months and life on this earth without Mikey was slipping through my fingers as I helplessly watched on.

I wrote about him. He became lyrics to my songs. It took every fibre of my being not to drive to him. I dreamt of him. One dream had me waking with tears. It was Mikey standing in the pouring rain outside of my house begging me to come ‘home’. I could hear him and see him, but for some reason I couldn’t wake up from my sleep to go outside and see him. 

Gabe and I became really close, I was surprised he still wanted to hang out with me when all I spoke about was Mikey.

September came around and I decided to message Mikey, staying up the whole night of the ninth just to be the first to wish him a happy birthday.

‘Happy Birthday Mikey Way,   
Your old friend   
Peter Pan xo’

I had Gabe with me and the alcohol ready, with a plan to go out to one of Gabe’s favourite gay bars if Mikey didn’t reply.   
But to my surprise, he did.

‘Aw thanks Panda man!  
Miss you…  
Catch up sometime?  
MW ‘

I threw my phone in a bundle of excitement, narrowly missing the side of Gabe’s head.

“Wow, I don’t-I’m guessing he wrote back?” Gabe stuttered in shock

I couldn’t speak, instead my jaw hung open awkwardly like a seal ready to catch a ball. I nodded, feeling that familiar fire spark back up in my stomach.

“Aww damn I wanted to take you cruising” Gabe pouted

I couldn’t help but laugh as I jumped on him and hugged him tight.

“I’ll still come out with you but I am not ‘cruising’” I smiled

***

I was a ball of energy at the club, drinking in excess as usual, having guys pinch my ass and continually asking me ‘where the bathroom was’ was flattering but the memory of Mikey was the only thing I needed.

I was dancing with Gabe, and some random guy Gabe had found, in a cage when I remembered that I still hadn’t messaged Mikey back.

I was full of drunk courage and decided that calling him at 2am on his birthday, at a club was a good idea.

I slid between the bars of the cage and found a corner of the room as I pressed my ear to the speaker.

Ring

Ring 

Ring

i should have known he wouldn’t-

“Pete?” His sweet little voice answered cautiously. Surprisingly he didn’t sound as tired as I thought.  
“H-Hey, Mikey! Happy Birthday!” I yelled, smiling from ear to ear  
“Thank you! Are you at a club?” He laughed  
“Oh, yeah. I’m with Gabe”   
“You’re so funny..its 2am do you know that?”  
“Yeah,sorry..but what are you doin’? For your birthday I mean?”  
“Just drinking with Gee, Frank and Ray. They’re taking me to some bar.”  
That sounded nice but not nice enough for my guy  
“That’s cool….Hey MikeyWay?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of it.”  
he paused, making me anxious that he was going to hang up the phone then and there.  
“Really?”  
“Yes. I haven’t stopped thinking of you.”  
“Maybe we can try being friends again?” He offered.   
Friends? We couldn’t go straight back to lovers? .. I guess I fucked the chance of that happening.  
“Awesome” I could hear him smiling, I hated that he was alone.   
“Are you seeing anyone?” I choked nervously, biting my nail, noticing Gabe walking towards me  
“No..I don’t think that’ll happen for a while”  
What did he mean? Did he mean he was hoping to find find someone? Had he been with someone?  
“When can I see you?” I whined  
“Whenever you want” he was smiling again.  
Things felt horribly right.   
Maybe in this life Mikey and I couldn’t be a couple like everybody else, but in our own world I think we are soulmates. 

The End. (Sorta)

Yoooo so I have a bunch more stuff I want to throw in at the end or follow on from so I think I’ll write an epilogue just with a few more details of the petekey timeline up until present day

I hope you enjoyed this I really loved writing it 💖


	12. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more to come after this chapter - sorry for lack of editing I pumped this out x

I stood staring at the little grooves of the big brown door. My heart was racing so fast I thought it’d break through my flesh and bones only to fly away.

The door handle twisted to the left, the edges of my mouth turning upwards as if being pulled tightly by string.

He wasn’t smiling until he looked up from the ground. He opened the door wide enough for me to fit through and I pounced, holding onto him and never wanting to let go.

He smelt like alcohol, but underneath he still had his trademark smell. We were yet to say a word- instead our lips crashed together as he stumbled backwards down the hall.

“I missed you so much SLD” I panted, bringing my hands to his jaw and looking in his glassy eyes. He was wearing even more eyeliner

His eyebrows lifted as if to say ‘Aww’

“I missed you too” he smiled clumsily

His hair no longer had hints of blonde, it was darker and shorter, he looked even more handsome than I remembered.

As I looked past his shoulder I noticed Gerard and Frank sitting at a dining table. 

“Come on in, we’re all drinking and talking about lyrics for the upcoming album” Mikey slurred

Anxiety brewed in my head and stomach over seeing Gerard since our last meeting didn’t end so well.

“Heyyyy! Mikey!!” They shouted in unison as we entered the kitchen

Luckily Frank and Gerard were smiling, sitting, of course, extremely close.

“Look what the cat dragged in!” Gerard smiled, standing to hug me. His hair was a shocking bleach blonde, it suited him and his ‘king of the emo’s’ status so well., contrasting against his all black clothes.

Frank kissed me quickly on the cheek after giving my mid section a squeeze.

Mikey wasn’t joking about the drinking, a collection of mostly empty vodka and beer bottles were huddled in the centre of the table, surrounded by loose bits of paper with scribbles and lyrics.

Gerard slid a whiskey glass of clear liquid across the table at me, expertly just stopping before teetering over the edge.

Mikey’s hand rested on my thigh, hidden by the table’s edge. I brought my fingers to his and squeezed.

-

Mikey took me to his room, where I sat in his lap as he rested against the bed.  
“So, what’s new with you?” He asked running his fingers up and down my arm  
“Not much, I’ve been hanging out with Gabe a lot, the other week we went to a party and all these famous people were there it was crazy!”  
“Oh nice, who’d you meet?”  
“This girl Michelle who was in Buffy, she seems cool, and heeps of other people but I got pretty wasted so ill have to try remember them all” I chuckled  
Mikey kissed the back of my neck, eventually sucking softly at one spot just under my ear. I could feel him growing hard over my soft moans as his boner began to dig into my back

I turned over and straddled him, making awkward faces as my jeans restricted the flexibility in my legs

“You should take them off” he giggled, attempting a wink

“Wow, you’re so drunk MikeyWay” I smiled, bending down to kiss him before springing off him

I stood beside his bed, feeling intoxicated enough to do something mildly embarrassing. 

Slowly I started to unbuckle my belt, looking seductively at Mikey.

A smile crept to his lips and grew wider as he watched me slide my jeans off slowly.

I had enough of teasing him and had flash backs of his tight ass and the way it fit nicely in my hands, so I gestured for him to come over.

He stood up, tugging at his shirt but failing to lift it over his head. I helped him out and pulled it off him, smiling at his cuteness.

“You big dope” I grinned, kissing him as he reached for the hem of my shirt

*(Smuttt)*

I wiggled out of my boxers and he began to stroke me, painfully slow.

“Are you gonna run away this time?” He spoke low and soft  
I shook my head  
“You don’t know how much I’ve wanted this”  
He smiled proceeding to lick the tip seductively before taking me whole, increasing in pace.

“Wana touch you..too” I panted tapping on his shoulders

“Get on the bed” I ordered

“Lay down” I said, crawling on top of him in reverse

I sat on his chest as I undid his pants, melting as he squeezed my cheeks

I marvelled at how hard he was already, loving the gasp he let out as I touched him

69’s were the next best thing beside penetration. Giving Mikey pleasure whilst receiving it was more than I could ever want.

I pushed him deep into my throat and clasped my fingers around him stopping briefly to feel his hot wet mouth around me.  
He licked my underside and trailed down, making me clench hard around his tongue.  
I kept stroking him but fell stupendously out of rhythm as he brought me closer to the edge.

“I’m  
Gonna  
Come” I whined, releasing heavily all over his chest, making him moan

I quickly placed my mouth back over him, eagerly pumping and sucking before digging my tongue into his slit

Mikey screamed, squeezing one of my cheeks roughly, indicating that he was close

I pushed my tongue on his throbbing underside before pulling him out of my mouth and letting him come all over my chest

I wasn’t the biggest fan of swallowing, and for a brief moment his hot mess felt nice..until it didn’t and I needed to wipe it off instantly.

“Pete..Help me..” He mumbled, gesturing at one of the shirts on the ground

“Oh yeah” I said jumping off him and picking up what I thought was his shirt. I sat back on top of him and caringly cleaned him up, catching his smile in the corner of my eye.

“What’s so funny?” I asked as I began cleaning myself

“Under that tough, bad boy exterior you’re a big softie, y’know that?”  
I smiled, chucking the dirty shirt back on the floor.  
I crossed my arms and placed my chin on my hands so that I was looking up at him  
“I’m a sweet little dude, remember? Only the best of us are.”  
“Always” he smiled, running his hand through my hair.

“Mikey?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I feel like I could never love someone the way I love you.”  
There was a heavy pause as his eyes left mine and focused on what his hands were doing.  
“I know.” He sighed  
“I want you to meet my mom” I let out cautiously  
Mikey smiled  
“She’s awesome, and probably the only other person I’d feel comfortable about talking about us with”  
His eyes started to fall shut and his hand tugged on my hair heavily  
“Just..friends…rememb-“ he trailed off, making me slightly frustrated.  
It wasn’t so much what he said this time, it was how. i couldn’t tell what emotion was behind it. Had he meant it as a joke?  
I decided against waking him to ask, seeing as he was fairly drunk anyway- I don’t know if I’d find the answer I was looking for. I would ask him in the morning.

I kissed him on the nose, pulled up the blanket and stood up in search of my shirt. I picked the ‘clean’ one off the floor, turning it inside out, only to find that it was in fact Michael’s shirt.  
Michael..hehe.  
then the realisation set in; I had used my own shirt as a cum rag.

I searched through his suitcase- not surprised at all that he hadn’t put his stuff away in the allocated drawers, and eventually settled on the least tiny shirt, which on me was still tiny and sat just above my hips.

I pulled my boxers back on and headed to the kitchen in search of some water, hoping the others would be too involved in what they were doing to notice me.

Gerard was kind enough to not say anything, but Frank, of course did as I passed him laying on a couch.

“Shirt’s a bit loose” he giggled, making the smallest smile appear on Gerard’s lips as he pretended to focus on the t.v

“Yeah.. I got it from your mom” was the best I could come up with?

“What happened to your shirt? And my mom is a saint leave her outta this” he said kicking my leg 

“I lost it!” I yelled walking into the kitchen

“Cumrag” I heard them mutter quietly.

*  
Waking up alone terrified me. I had gone to sleep next to Mikey’s warm body, hugging his bony little hips.  
I sat up quickly and tore out of his room, searching for him.

As I came into the lounge room, passing Frank on the floor beside the couch he had obviously given to Gerard,I could see Mikey’s slender frame hunched over the dining table.

No need to panic, I thought, he had just woken up early.

I crept up behind him and snaked my arms around his waist, smiling as I hugged him.

He nuzzled his face into my neck, revealing what was infant of him.

“Jesus Mikey..you’re drinking at this hour?” I asked pulling away from him

“It’s the afternoon, silly” he grinned

“No, Mikey. It’s fucking 9 am “ I said, gesturing to the clock above the sink.

“Oh.Yeah.” 

“How long have you been doing this?”  
“I’ve only had a couple, promise! I’ll stop”  
“I meant when did you start drinking as in like months, weeks?”  
“I dunno, sometime after the tour”  
Getting information from a pissed person was useless.  
“You’re angry with me” he pouted  
“Yeah, but I’m more disappointed..and worried”  
“I think you should go”  
I was shocked, to say the least. I felt used.  
“Really?” I asked, he couldn’t even look me in my eyes  
“It’s never gonna work Pete. We’re just gonna fuck each other up”  
I could feel my eyes beginning to well up.  
“So you were lying when you said you loved me too? Were you lying on warped tour?”  
He didn’t respond.  
“Mikey?!”  
“I..I do love you..hey that’s my shirt!” He laughed, instantly taking the seriousness of the conversation away.  
“Yeah..it is..” I frowned  
“Pete?” Gerard’s voice came from the doorframe behind me  
“How long has he been doing this?” I asked sternly facing him  
“A while..” He responded scratching his head  
“Well he needs help”  
“Yeah, I know,I’m trying.”he sighed  
“Come on, you think Im gonna believe that you don’t do the exact same thing just at a later time?”  
“You’re not exactly clean Clancy yourself” he raised a brow  
“Gerard, leave him alone” Mikey piped up  
Gerard sighed and bit his fingernail

“I’m going” I said, quickly pecking Mikey’s cheek.  
I walked up to Gerard, and looked him in the eyes.  
“Tell him I love him back”I uttered, running to collect my things from Mikey’s room.  
Mikey didn’t come after me this time and I sobbed the whole way home.

##

Michelle was eager to talk and hang out as soon as I got back, which I didn’t mind. she was kind, soft and a little bit nerdy. I figured a new friend would be a great way to distract my mind from the one thing I couldn’t have. I sensed that she like me more than a friend but she didn’t seem pushy. 

She grew on me quite rapidly. I tried to convince myself that I could have female friends who were attractive-it didn’t mean I needed to jump into a relationship with them.  
We had a couple coffee dates and I even brought her to Gabe’s house party- which ended up being the worst decision of my life.


End file.
